Wednesday, August 15, 2007

My Slow Descent

I'm sick. My nasal passage feels like something crawled into it and died. Meanwhile, my chest is more clogged up than traffic in Midtown.

Apparently, there's a cure for this. Which is nice.

It consists of liberal amounts of Vicks VapoRub on your chest, a towel wrapped around your chest and head accompanied by as much straight Jack Daniels as you can throw down your throat. Not nice. But hell, it's worth a shot.

I figure the experience is also worth a running diary as well. If I'm not going to get any enjoyment from this, my readers might as well have to suffer from my increasingly incoherent rants.


10:27 PM EST
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Those are the fires of hell. Vick's VapoRub with a tightly wrapped towel feels kind of like being cast into those. The whole objective of this masochistic task is to sweat out the cold so I guess that's kind of the point.

10:31 PM EST
According to my roommate Jack on the rocks works just fine. So I got that going for me.


10:39 PM EST
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Look at that guy! That is one sexy partially amputated index finger!

If Ernst & Young could see me now, they'd seriously reconsider their hiring policies.

On a side note, I just accidentally published this. It's really sad that I'm already losing my mind.


10:48 PM EST
I went to the premier party for Comedy Central's Lil' Bush a few months ago. It sucked. I was even having a tough time pretending to laugh.

I just noticed that it was on TV and figured that it might be funnier when I'm not of right mind.

It still sucks. I think that Comedy Central could have created a funnier show by recording Steven Colbert Sunday school classes (he actually does teach Sunday school).


8:11 PM PST
According to an online quiz on "Which Transformer are You?" I'm 70% Optimus Prime. Here's the assessment:
"Optimus Prime is the heroic leader of the Autobots. He is the personification of courage, strength, and integrity. His personal motto is that 'Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.'

Like Optimus Prime, you are good by nature. But beware because mischievous thoughts sometimes tempt you. You are inspiring, confident, and a natural leader. The Autobots have chosen well. In addition, you enjoy technology and are aware of the latest trends, but you stick with what works for you."

Of course, according to the internet, I have an IQ of 140(no lie). If I had an IQ of 140, then I wouldn't be drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels in order to recover from a cold.

11:12 PM EST
Then:
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Now:

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Ouch.

If I was Lindsay Lohan, I would go for a nice long drive to shake that off.


11:28 PM EST
I just read my Transformer assessment. "The Autobots have chosen well." WTF?


7:17 AM (Helsinki Time) [Note: Apparently I added this at 12:17 AM. I have no idea how it got up here.]


1o:48 AM (Bangkok Time)
I understand that my posts are becoming less frequent and more terse in nature. I'm about a half way through the bottle and I have nothing interesting to contribute to the world.


12:04 AM EST
Now I just don't know what I was going to say. I feel like a waste of life right now. I don't quite understand why Emily puts up with this:
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9:02 AM EST
I just woke up. I'm hung over. I opened my computer and was greeted by the picture above. My cold is about half gone but my hangover more than makes up for that. Kill me now.